We're midway through the first week of 2022. That's WILD.
Some people have resolutions but not me: I've got GOALS.
I bought a really cute planner (which you can check out on Instagram) so I can plan things out. I know some of you might be thinking well, you can't really PLAN things in life because so many things don't go to plan and here's what I have to say to that:
Do what works for you!
Although things don't always go to plan, I always benefit from writing things down. I've got tons and tons of good intentions and ideas but I'm not the best at execution. If I leave everything to chance and memory: a lot goes undone! So a nifty little planner is my own personal compass. Plus: it's soooo kew-utteeee!
Covid has been going around like CRAZY and no matter what your politics are, I want all of you to be happy and healthy. I got Covid from a co-worker and it was BRUTAL. It's not like that for everyone but hey, what can I say. Luck of the draw.
Thankfully I'm ok right now but the point is: try and stay safe! <3
Lately I've been thinking about whether or not I'm living or if i'm mostly letting life pass me on by. I mean, I've been super duper busy but mostly with work! When I'm not working I purposely allow my social calendar to be filled to the brim.
But are these empty transactions? I mean, there's nothing BRAND NEW about the experiences i've been having. Sure, I'll share a meal with someone and a few laughs. But I wish I were doing new activities you know? And at work, I'm there like 9-10 hrs. But to what end, ultimately? I mostly enjoy what I do but STILL.
Sometimes I think i'm using my career as a form of validation, like what I do IS HARD. Super challenging and so it's one of the only instances where when someone tells me i'm doing well, I feel like I earned it? Like I can believe it and therefore ingest it so my inner child who wanted so badly to be GOOD can be satiated. I've been offered easier gigs for more cash and here I am, mostly because it's so fucking tough and I feel like I deserve tough, yanno.
Maybe I just feel empty on the inside regardless of what's going on around me...I used to feel like every emotion hit me like a train, good or bad and now i'm just so...numb? Like someone's wrapped me in the kind of padding that blocks out LIFE.
If you know what it feels like to be alive at your own funeral then we can relate.
Hope you enjoyed my last episode: "Gender Roles in Relationships: EW!"
If you haven't checked it out then please do. And share your opinions...I wanna hear 'em!
I hope all of you have an amazing rest of the week and if you ever wanna talk I am right here...taking it one day at a time.
—Local Neighborhood Baby
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